According to a recent study, 75% of young people feel as though they are lacking in confidence. This is hardly surprising. After all, we all have memories from our school years and the worries we faced about everything from fitting in to getting the grades we needed to succeed. Fortunately, there are various steps you can take as a parent to raise confident kids and instill a strong sense of self-esteem from an early age. This will allow them to tackle any challenges that come their way with their head held high.
Photo by Ben Wicks
With that in mind, here are some top tips to help your children develop confidence!
Lead by example. Kids are much more perceptive than we give them credit for. This means that, even from an early age, they are paying attention to the way in which you talk about yourself (and others). This, in turn, influences the way in which they talk and think about themselves. As such, this can be the difference between complete and utter confidence and complex self-esteem issues.
Moving forward, be mindful of the way you talk about yourself, especially in the presence of your children. Where possible, try to offer compliments about yourself or your behaviors. While this may seem a little odd or self-indulgent, you’re showing your child that there’s nothing wrong with loving who they are. Furthermore, this is a great way to increase your own confidence levels, as it can help you to silence the little voice in your head that tells you that you aren’t enough. You should also ensure that you model positive behaviours when it comes to health and well-being, as this will encourage children to take care of themselves in a way that elevates their confidence.
Help them to fall in love with their reflection. The way we feel about our reflection and appearance is often reflected directly in our confidence levels. As such, it is important that you encourage your child to love what they see in the mirror. There are many different ways in which you can tackle this challenge.
For example, you could help them find clothing and hairstyles that they truly love, which will help them feel a little more confident when heading out of the door each day. Remember, this could require a little research on your end, especially when it comes to styling their hair. For example, you may need to learn how to prepare natural hair for two-strand twists so that you know exactly what you are doing when they sit down in your “home salon.”
Create a safe space for your children. Many children worry about opening up to those around them, which can make it difficult for them to address confidence issues head-on. After all, they often lack the insight necessary to know how to tackle these big emotions independently. As such, you should be sure to let your children know that they can always turn to you if they are struggling or in need of advice and support. You should also make it clear that these conversations will remain private and judgment-free, which is a great way to parent with mental health in mind.
Help them find their stride through hobbies. Various studies have found that dedicating time to our hobbies is a surefire way to increase our confidence. Furthermore, this can be a great way to encourage shy children to come out of their shells, as they can spend time with like-minded peers and form strong, lasting friendships.
While it may take time to find a hobby they genuinely enjoy (meaning you should be prepared for some trial and error), it is important to note that there are plenty of options to choose from. For example, you could always opt for something a little more offbeat than traditional childhood hobbies, such as sport-based activities, by opting for improv classes or Dungeons and Dragons sessions!
Encourage hard work, not perfection. Many children and teens feel their parents expect perfection out of them – both inside and outside of the school environment. This, in turn, can lead to significant confidence issues when they feel as though they are continually falling short of their parent’s expectations. As such, it is important that you let your children know that nobody is perfect and that you don’t expect them to be the best at everything. Let them know that the only thing that matters at the end of the day is that they have tried their best.
One way in which you can make this message even clearer is by offering out praise to your children when you can see that they have worked hard – as opposed to praising them based on the outcome of their efforts. For example, you could let them know that you’re proud of how focused they are when completing their homework or studying for a test instead of discussing the results specifically. Alternatively, you may commend them on their dedication to their extracurricular activities, noting how they always turn up with a smile on their face no matter how tired they may be.
Final thoughts. In an ideal world, each and every child would be gifted with an innate confidence that cannot be taken away from them. However, the truth is that there are many different scenarios in which once confident children feel as though their confidence is slipping away – from playground drama to high-pressure tests and exams.
While this is not something you can shield your children from entirely, and it is entirely normal for our overall confidence levels to fluctuate at various stages of our lives, there are certain steps you can take to raise children who feel as empowered and confident as possible.
From practising positive self-talk and leading by example to creating a safe space where they can talk freely without fear of judgement, you can work closely with your child and teen to help them become the most confident version of themselves. However, while doing so, it is important that you remind them of the fact that nobody – not even the celebrities they see on social media – is anywhere near as confident as they pretend to be. Sometimes, you have to fake it to make it!
